Responding Better to Stress

Which of your stressors can you change? For instance, you may often get stuck in traffic. Can that be changed? Can you start work later to miss the traffic? Can you take a bus or train? Would music or an audiobook help you feel calm? Think of a few ways you can make the problem better. Then choose one that helps you feel less stressed.

Man and woman sitting on park bench, talking.

Let go of what you can’t control

Which of your stressors are beyond your control? For instance, you may have to work with a person who is hard to get along with. Know that if you can’t change a stressor, your best choice may be to let it go. These tips may help:

  • Do something that makes you laugh. Humor can help ease your stress. A funny movie or TV show may help you feel better.

  • Decide if what's bothering you is worth dealing with. Maybe it's not worth the stress or harm it may cause you. Ask yourself, “Can I let this go?"

  • See if there's anything you can change with what's causing you stress. Maybe you can drop a task, ask someone for help, or relax your standards.

Put a positive spin on stress

Seeing things in a positive way can help you cope with stress better. Think of stressors as challenges you can handle. If you have negative thoughts, learn ways to change them to positive ones. For example:

Instead of saying: “If I don’t get this report done on time, I’ll be fired.”

Say: “I’ll ask for the extra time. I need to do a good job on the report.”

Instead of saying: “My spouse hasn’t called me about our sick child. Maybe they went to the hospital.”

Say: “My spouse must be busy caring for our child. I’ll call to see how they’re doing.”

Getting support

Build a support network of people who will talk with you. They can help you manage stress. And they may help you cope with your stressors in new ways. To form your network:

  • Talk with a friend, family member, or mentor.

  • Look for apps that you can get online or on your mobile device to help with stress. Talk with your doctor for suggestions.

  • Join a support group of people who are dealing with stressors like yours.

  • Meet with your clergy person or spiritual guide.

  • Check with your campus, school, or company’s human resources to find out about programs that help you manage stress. Many workplaces offer an employee assistance program.

  • Find a mental health provider who can help you learn how to manage your stress in a healthy way.

  • Call the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine at 800-950-6264, text “helpline” to 62640, or send an email to  helpline@nami.org  for support and information about community resources.

  • If you are in a crisis or have thoughts of suicide or self-harm, call or text 988 right away. This is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You will be connected to a trained counselor you can talk to. There's also an online chat option. You can also call Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255). The 988 Lifeline is free and available 24/7.